Fake News of the day.

Citrix and VMware institute tweet only support: In similar cost cutting moves, both Citrix and VMware customers running free hypervisors (XenServer or ESXi) will be forced to use Twitter as their sole means of support communication with the respective companies.  Although customers will now be challenged to explain their issues with 140 characters or less, they can probably expect faster response times from engineers trolling the social media networks than they have had with traditional call centers.

Hewlett Packard, Dell and Toshiba all to debut Virtual Laptops:  Riding the wave surrounding Virtual Desktops and VDI, three major hardware vendors are set to release individual versions of Virtual Laptops (vLVM).  Compatible with all three of the current hypervisors, administrators will now have the option to create lightweight virtual laptops within their virtual infrastructures.  These vLVMs will replace the bulky virtual machines of the past further reducing the virtual footprint on their virtual desks.  While pricing has not been announced, Virtual Laptops promise infinite battery life (as long as the host hypervisor is plugged in) and will initially come in 65,366 different colors (in the form of Visio stencils and Management Console icons).

Microsoft buys the Internet: In spite of analyst reports that confirm Bing’s ever growing market share in the search engine wars, Microsoft has taken the extreme measure of purchasing the entire Internet for a lump sum cash payment.  With an endless cash reserve in their war chest and now sole ownership of the internet, Microsoft lawyers have instructed Google to Cease and Desist all indexing of it’s property.  Analysts predict Bing will become the dominant search engine of choice by the end of the year.